Confused

I used to be the princess:
The one that had all the fun.
I used to do anything I wanted
And not feel the need to run.

Now I’m sick of trying.
My heart is breaking down.
I can’t seem to stop crying
And dying.
Heart falling to the ground.

My life is so wonderful and great.
But I feel like I’m not good enough.
So do I shut the gate?

Turn around and see a new
Future that is bright?
Or stay right here
And for my self worth
I’ll have to Fight?

I’m crying
And dying
Wish for the lying
To start or stop.
Don’t know what I want.

I want you.
No other words.
Only that is true.

Who said men are like this?
Who said they have to be?
Don’t need to be just like us.

But can they not see?
It hurts.
Is she better than me?
Are they better than me?

When do I start living
The life I used to hunt?
When do I start being
The one he still wants?

Sure he’s just a guy.
I can’t change that fact.
But when he says he’s mine
How can he take it back?

And give it all to someone else,
Not cheating
But he tells
Them they are beautiful.

Can’t make me feel that way.
Can’t tell me I’m sexy
Unless I’m forced to say,

“Im not the one,
Not hot enough,
Not skinny
Or blue eyed,
or pretty.”

I start to believe
When I say it again.
I can’t achieve
What I felt back then.

I want to be made
To feel wanted and needed
Because I’ve paid
By giving away
All the confidence
I ever had.

Confused.
What do I do?
How do I say
My words are true?

He’ll brush them off.
He’ll blow them away.
My feelings not important
Enough to say
You’re beautiful
In every way.

You’re sexy
And amazing
And what you do is hot
I want you baby
And you’re all I’ll ever want.

I don’t need to do all
The things I used to do.
Don’t need to look at them
When I can look at you.
I’m just confused.